To Whom Are You Praying?
How God’s Word informs and empowers prayer
It’s All About A Relationship
Sometimes it can be painfully obvious that those who invoke the phrase, “I’m praying about it,” may not really have a grasp on the One to whom they’re praying to. The importance and power of prayer is found in the one to whom the prayer is addressed, not in the one who does the praying. If we imagine a being other than the God who has revealed Himself in His Word, we’re making an idol for ourselves, and often an idol made in our own image. So it is incumbent on us Christians to know the One who is hearing our prayers. Our prayer must be informed and empowered by the One who calls us to pray. God has revealed Himself to us that we would draw near to Him and have joyful, life-giving, hope-infused relationship with Him. The Bible, God’s Word to us, calls us to relational prayer—prayer that responds to the character of God, His promises, and our calling to Him as His people.
In the context of my home, my children (Joshua and Lizzy) have a decent grip on what questions would be off limits between us. Sometimes that understanding wanes and I’m approached with a question that, had it really been thought through, they might have refrained from asking. It’s pretty well understood that if it’s late and bed time is near, any request for desert will most likely be denied. How do they know this? Well, time after time they have consistently received “No” as a response to that very question in that exact context. What I believe is even more important is the memory of conversations that we’ve had on the subject—times that I’ve informed them of the effects of sugar and the need for them to be able to go to sleep when the time comes. So, generally, they don’t ask for that. And when they do (they’re kids, so they definitely make the attempt from time to time) the answer “no” doesn’t come across as a huge surprise. The opposite has become true. In our house, if they get a desert near bedtime, it’s a special gift. Between us and God, the reality is that we can ask for anything. But, as my elementary teacher used to say, just because you can doesn’t mean you should. Knowing God brings discernment whereby what we can ask gets filtered through our understanding of what we should ask based on what we know about our heavenly Father—our relationship with Him. So, again, the goal is relational prayer.
I use the concept of relational prayer in order to differentiate from what may be described as incantational prayer—i.e. the kind of prayer that seeks to string together the right words in order to manipulatively bring about the desired response. If God revealed Himself to be a genie, then we might try incantational prayer. I also use the concept of relational prayer to differentiate from what could be called ritual prayer—the kind of prayer that checks a box on a list of religious have to’s in order to keep oneself in line with the law. This is the pagan strategy of ritualistically appeasing a false god (or gods) in order to get what one desires. The problem is that we didn’t create God—He created us. And, as God reminds Job, “Who has been first to give to Me, that I should repay him?” (Job 41:11) There’s no ritual that we can perform that puts God in a position of indebtedness to us. He never owes us anything. So we shouldn’t expect that praying ritualistically will force God’s hand and cause Him to bow to our every request.
The thing about relational prayer is that it requires relationship. My children are continuously learning the boundaries of our household by deepening their relationship with me and Sarah. We’re growing a mutual understanding (keyword is ‘growing’) of what it looks like to abide together as father, mother, sister, and brother. The same growth must exist between us and our Heavenly Father. Of course God is absolutely perfect—holy in every way—so it isn’t a matter of mutual growth in relationship, but rather our growing closer to Him as His truth washes away the baggage of falsehoods we carry around as fallen men and women.
Nehemiah’s Context
So what does all of this have to do with Nehemiah? Let’s get into it.
The book of Nehemiah is grounded in the reign of the Persian empire; specifically detailing the return of Nehemiah to Jerusalem around 445 BC. In the Hebrew canon of the Old Testament, Ezra and Nehemiah are seen as one book. Both of these books give insight into the return of Jews to Jerusalem and the rebuilding of the city. The dating of the events in Nehemiah is helped by the clues that Nehemiah includes. In the first verse, Nehemiah gives us a date, the month of Chislev (i.e. between November and December of our calendar).
We also learn in chapter 2, verse 1 that it was during the reign of Artaxerxes as king of Persia. Nehemiah also informs us of his position in relation to the king of Persia; he was the cupbearer. The position of cupbearer came with great prestige and trust throughout the ancient near east. Cupbearers were entrusted to protect the king from poisoning through his drink, and even physical attack if the occasion arose. It was a position that required skill (i.e. a knowledge of wine) and strength of character. As the cupbearer, Nehemiah spent a great deal of time with the king and was afforded opportunity to give advice here and there as well. While things were not too bad for Nehemiah personally, the nation of Israel was but a memory of the past as a small remnant sought to rebuild Jerusalem—a city that had shrunk in size compared to its former glory.
Beginning in verse 1 of chapter 1, we read,
[1] The words of Nehemiah the son of Hacaliah. Now it happened in the month Chislev, in the twentieth year, while I was in Susa the capitol, [2] that Hanani, one of my brothers, and some men from Judah came; and I asked them about the Jews who had escaped and had survived the captivity, and about Jerusalem. [3] And they said to me, “The remnant there in the province who survived the captivity are in great distress and disgrace, and the wall of Jerusalem is broken down and its gates have been burned with fire.” (Neh. 1:1-3)
Nehemiah gets a visit from his brother, and some acquaintances with him, and naturally asks about that which meant so much to Nehemiah, “How are God’s people? How is my faith family doing?” Although Nehemiah was actively serving the king of Persia, he hadn’t forgotten his roots—his identity as a part of God’s chosen people. There’s something to be said of the character of Nehemiah, and maybe even more of the character of his dad. Even though Nehemiah hadn’t lived in the land God had promised Israel (Susa, the capital of Persia, is a solid 800-900 miles away from Jerusalem), he still knew who he was in light of God’s covenant with Israel. I bet Nehemiah’s father made sure to live by Deuteronomy 6, “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. And you shall repeat them diligently to your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house, when you walk on the road, when you lie down , and when you get up.” (Deut. 6:6-7)
The answer that Nehemiah gets isn’t a good one. Destruction. Distress. Disgrace. This isn’t what Nehemiah wanted to hear. It’s not what any of us want to hear. And yet, when we turn on the news or scroll social media we often find that the world is full of destruction, distress, and disgrace. Nehemiah’s concern for his fellow brothers and sisters was so great that he, “sat down and wept and mourned for days.” (Neh. 1:4) How much love do we have for God’s people? For our brothers and sisters in the faith? O that we would be like Nehemiah! His love and devotion reminds me of Jesus weeping outside of Lazarus’ tomb (John 11:35). What compassion!
Nehemiah’s response to such news is what we want to focus on primarily. And, while we see that he is overcome with emotion, he doesn’t simply mourn and sulk in the gravity of the news he has heard. He turns to God. Nehemiah prays. When we dig into his prayer, we find that the star of the show isn’t Nehemiah who prayed, but the God to whom he prayed.
Nehemiah’s Prayer to the God of Heaven
[4] Now when I heard these words, I sat down and wept and mourned for days; and I was fasting and praying before the God of heaven. [5] I said, “Please, Lord God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps the covenant and faithfulness for those who love Him and keep His commandments; [6] let Your ear now be attentive and Your eyes open, to hear the prayer of Your servant which I am praying before You now, day and night, on behalf of the sons of Israel Your servants, confessing the sins of the sons of Israel which we have committed against You; I and my father’s house have sinned. [7] We have acted very corruptly against You and have not kept the commandments, nor the statutes, nor the ordinances which You commanded Your servant Moses. [8] Remember, please, the word which You commanded Your servant Moses, saying, ‘If you are unfaithful, I will scatter you among the peoples; [9] but if you return to Me and keep My commandments and do them, though those of you who have been scattered were in the remotest part of the heavens, I will gather them from there and bring them to the place where I have chosen to have My name dwell.’ [10] They are Your servants and Your people whom You redeemed by Your great power and by Your strong hand. [11] Please, Lord, may Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant and the prayer of Your servants who delight to revere Your name, and please make Your servant successful today and grant him mercy before this man.” (Neh. 1:4-11)
Nehemiah is in the midst of fasting, which displays that he knows that only God can satisfy a heart that is broken. No feast can satisfy the kind of hunger Nehemiah has for God to move. For God to heal. For God to rescue. Fasting (i.e. denying the body food in order to draw near to God who truly provides) recognizes that God is truly ALL that we need. Nehemiah may have recalled Deuteronomy 8:3, which is what Jesus quotes when tempted to turn rocks into bread, saying, “Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes out of the mouth of God.” (Matt. 4:4) When Nehemiah opens his mouth to pray, he does so from a place of total surrender. Nehemiah prays knowing that what he needs is unattainable by his own strength. ONLY THE PRESENCE OF GOD, ONLY THE WORD OF GOD, ONLY THE WILL OF GOD WILL SATISFY.
As we have already established, the goal is relational prayer—prayer based on what is known about the One to whom we’re praying. So it’s important to take note of who Nehemiah directs his requests to. When Nehemiah prays, he does so “…before the God of heaven.” Nehemiah isn’t just throwing random requests up into the air hoping that any deity would swoop down and answer. Nehemiah knows the God who created the air! Genesis 1:1 is foundational. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.” (Gen 1:1) When Nehemiah prays, he prays to the One who spoke the universe into existence! He’s praying to the One who is eternal! As the psalmist writes, “Your throne is established from of old; You are from eternity.” (Ps. 93:2)
Being the God of heaven means that he stands above every king and kingdom. The kings of the earth rule over plots of dirt, while God reigns over them all! I love what Proverbs 21:1 says of God’s sovereignty over kings, “The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it wherever He pleases.” In Nehemiah chapter 2, after King Artexerxes I notices Nehemiah’s dreary mood, the king asks, “What would you request?” What is Nehemiah’s response? “So I prayed to the God of heaven.” (Neh. 2:4) Nehemiah knows the God he's praying to. Nehemiah knows that every king and kingdom is but water being masterfully directed by the hand of God through the channels He desires according to His perfect and most wise will.
Nehemiah’s Prayer to the Faithful God
Nehemiah knows that his God is faithful. God’s covenant faithfulness was a fountain of peace for Nehemiah, as it should also be for us.
God is faithful to hear.
God is faithful to see.
These two realities combine to ensure us that God knows and understands. He doesn’t just know and understand some things—He knows and understands ALL things. The struggles of the Israelites were not a mystery to the God of heaven. So Nehemiah goes on to confess the sins of Israel, as well as the sins of his own household—all the things that God already knows. Why? Because God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. You may recognize that passage from James 4. Nehemiah would most likely have recalled that truth from Proverbs, “Toward the scorners He is scornful, but to the humble He gives favor.” (Prov. 3:34, ESV) Nehemiah knows that God is fully aware of the awful condition of the Israelites. Yet he prays because he loves God and wants to draw near to Him in humility. More than that, Nehemiah realizes that God knows what Nehemiah can’t. So Nehemiah humbly prays to the God who hears and sees; who fully knows and fully understands.
Another important passage for Nehemiah, helping him to pray to the God who has revealed Himself to His people, would be Leviticus 26. Specifically, Nehemiah prays to God in light of God’s own covenant with His people. God is already aware of the abundant lack of faithfulness on the part of the Israelites. Leviticus 26 begins with the good faithfulness of God and all the benefits of Israel being faithful to Him. But then about half or more of the chapter details the harsh consequences that Israel will face when they forsake God and rebel against Him. Altogether, it’s somewhat prophetic of what Israel was bound to endure. And so Nehemiah prays in light of Leviticus 26:40-42, which says,
[40] But if they confess their wrongdoing and the wrongdoing of their forefathers, in their unfaithfulness which they committed against Me, and also in their acting with hostility against Me—[41] I also was acting with hostility against them, to bring them into the land of their enemies—or if their uncircumcised heart is humbled so that they then make amends for their wrongdoing, [42] then I will remember My covenant with Jacob, and I will remember also My covenant with Isaac, and My covenant with Abraham as well, and I will remember the land.” (Lev. 26:40-42)
Nehemiah prays to the God who is faithful to hear, faithful to see, and faithful to respond to the prayer of the humble, contrite heart—the heart that confesses honestly and longs for relationship with God purely. “If they confess…I will remember My covenant.”
Nehemiah’s Prayer to the Gracious God
This is a big reason why Nehemiah would pray to God even though it is obvious that Israel has failed. Based on Israel’s track record, it seems that they’ve done everything possible to nullify their covenant with God. They’ve given God every reason possible to divorce His people. But still Nehemiah appeals to God in prayer, because at the end of Leviticus 26 God makes a statement that we can stand firm on. God knows that Israel will fail to be faithful to Him, that they would worship idols and break commandments galore. So in Leviticus 26:44 God says,
[44] Yet in spite of this, when they are in the land of their enemies, I will not reject them, nor will I loathe them as to destroy them, breaking My covenant with them; for I am the Lord their God. [45] But I will remember for them the covenant with their ancestors, whom I brought out of the land of Egypt in the sight of the nations, so that I might be their God. I am the Lord. (Lev. 26:44)
In spite of their failure. In spite of their unfaithfulness. In spite of their rebellion. In spite of their prostitution with the false gods of man. In spite of ALL of this, God will NOT reject them. Instead, God WILL REMEMBER FOR THEM. Why?
“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Eph. 2:8-9)
“For we too were once foolish, disobedient, deceived, enslaved to various lusts and pleasures, spending our life in malice and envy, hateful, hating one another. But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we did in righteousness, but in accordance with His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He richly poured out upon us through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that being justified by His grace we would be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life.” (Titus 3:3-7)
God’s grace towards those who are undeserving has always been the plan! God’s covenant with Israel had ZERO shot of fulfillment apart from the grace of God in the fulfilling work of Christ! So even in the Old Testament, we have Nehemiah praying to God on behalf of a people that have completely failed to uphold their end of the covenantal bargain, and he does this confidently because GOD SAID I WILL NOT REJECT MY PEOPLE. As the Lord makes plain through the prophet Jeremiah, “’For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for prosperity and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.’” (Jer. 29:11)
Sometimes it can be difficult to pray when we believe we’ve messed up beyond repair. In those moments, brothers and sisters, we must remember that we serve a Savior who WILL NOT REJECT HIS PEOPLE! Come to Him with all of your mistakes, your bumps and bruises, and be reminded that by grace through faith in Christ you are made righteous before God. Not by your works, but by the finished work of Jesus. We need to remember the beautiful promise God has given us, saying, “…if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.” (1 John 2:1b-2) Nehemiah prays to the God who shows compassion, mercy, and grace. Nehemiah humbles himself before his gracious, covenant-keeping Father. We must do the same.
Nehemiah’s Prayer to the Victorious God
There’s one more way that Nehemiah displays his relationship with God in his prayer. Nehemiah knows that God is the one who gives victory! He prays, “Please, Lord, may Your ear be attentive to the prayer of Your servant and the prayer of Your servants who delight to revere Your name, and please make Your servant successful today and grant him mercy before this man.” (Neh. 1:11) Nehemiah knew that the task of rebuilding the city of Jerusalem would fail before launch if not conducted by the hand of God. Nehemiah may have also recalled the work of God in Joshua where it is written, “…you are to cling to the Lord your God, as you have done to this day. For the Lord has driven out great and mighty nations from before you; and as for you, no one has stood against you to this day. One of your men puts to flight a thousand, for the Lord your God is He who fights for you, just as He promised you. So take great care for yourselves that you love the Lord your God.” (Josh. 23:8-11) It is God who gives victory. There’s no battle worth fighting on our own. Only God brings true victory. Nehemiah knew this and prayed to the God who fights for His people—the God who gives victory.
Conclusion
We can pray to THIS GOD! We can stake claim in His precious promises! As Nehemiah has shown us, we can pray:
To the God who has created all things and holds it all together.
To the God who is King of kings and Lord of lords.
To the God who hears us, sees us, and understands our heart, mind, and circumstances.
To the God who is faithful to keep His promises.
To the God who holds victory firmly in His grasp.
How can we have a better prayer life? Spend more time getting to know the One to whom you’re praying. He has made Himself known to us, giving everything we need for life and godliness (see 2 Peter 1:3). Abide in His truth and it will change your heart, conforming you more and more into His image. The power of prayer is found in the One to whom we pray. Do you know who you’re praying to?
My prayer is that God would draw you into a deeper relationship with Him. That you seek Him in relational prayer—the kind of prayer that is built on knowing God and learning more about what He has created you to be along the way.
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.” (Eph. 2:10)
Bibliography
All Scripture is quoted from the NASB 2020 translation unless otherwise noted.
Paul R. House and Eric A. Mitchell, Old Testament Survey, 3rd ed. (Brentwood, TN: B&H Academic, 2023).
T. J. Betts, Nehemiah: A Pastoral & Exegetical Commentary (Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press, 2020).
